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- What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their
games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
- What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
Sandy Claus!
- How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
- If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A subordinate claus.
- Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because the angel had said, "No L!"
- What kind of people are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claus-trophobics.
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
- Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
- Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
- What animal is always wet?
A Raindeer.
- What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve.
- What did the Christmas bell say to the other Christmas bell?
Give me a ring sometime
- What falls but never gets hurt?
Snow!
- Why do you never hear anything about the tenth reindeer, Olive?
Because Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..
- Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph.
- What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while the fire is still burning?
Crisp Kringle.
- What do you call Santa when he has no money?
Saint Nickel-less.
- Why is turkey popular at Christmas?
Because the weather is warmer over there.
- What bites and nips but has no teeth?
Frost.
- What do Santa's reindeer put on a Christmas tree?
Horn-aments.
- What kind of bird can write?
A PEN-guin.
- Why did Santa think it would be easy to use a computer?
Because an elf
said, "First YULE LOG on."
- Why did the elf take his computer to the hospital?
Because Santa said it had a virus.
- What is Tarzan's favourite Christmas song?
Jungle Bells.
- What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D".
- What did the Policeman say when he caught Frosty the Snowman stealing?
Freeze!
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