No Excuse Sunday

Next Sunday we will try to answer all the excuses people give for not attending church. A cot will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in." We will provide steel helmets for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I came to church." We will have hearing aids for those who say, "The pastor speaks too softly," and cotton for those who say he preaches too loud.

We will have some cards for listing the hypocrites who are present and some aspirin tablets for those who say their headaches are always worse on Sunday mornings. We will have 100 TV dinners for those who can't go to church and cook dinner too.

We will have some eye wash for those who have tired eyes from watching TV too late on Saturday night. And we will have our auditorium decorated with Christmas poinsettias and Easter lillies for those who have never seen the church without them.