Here's a Little Clarification of
Typical Corporate Lingo

Competitive Salary
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

Join Our Fast-Paced Company
We have no time to train you and you'll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.

Seeking Enthusiastic, Fun, Hard Working People
...who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.

Casual Work Atmosphere
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear ear rings.

Join Our Dynamic Team
We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.

Must Be Deadline Oriented
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

Some Overtime Required
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

Duties Will Vary
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

Must Have an Eye for Detail
We have no quality control.

College Degree Preferred
Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy or English.

No Phone Calls Please
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

Problem-Solving Skills a Must
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

Requires Team Leadership Skills
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

Good Communication Skills
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want, and then do it.