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Software Training

A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts.  He asked my help in putting it into operation.

At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training.

When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief.  "Im so glad you're teaching me instead of him."

Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was.

"Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you.  I get nervous around really smart people."





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Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts *up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies.  Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit.  We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete...

We don't yet see things clearly.  We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist.  But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright!  We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation:  Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.  And the best of the three is love.

1Corinthians 13:8-9, 12-13
The Message





Installing Love

Tech Support:  Yes...how can I help you?

Customer:  Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love.  Can you guide me through the process??

Tech Support:  Yes.  I can help you.  Are you ready to proceed?

Customer:  Well, I'm not very technical, but I'm ready.  What do I do first?

Tech Support:  The first step is to open your Heart.  Have you located your Heart?

Customer:  Yes, but there are several other programs running now.  Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support:  What programs are running?

Customer:  Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support:  No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system.  It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs.  Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem.  However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment.  Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.  Can you turn those off?

Customer:  I don't know how to turn them off.  Can you tell me how?

Tech Support:  With plelasure.  Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness.  Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer:  Okay, done!  Love has started installing itself.  Is that normal?

Tech Support:  Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.  You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer:  Oops!  I have an error message already.  It says, "Error - Program not run on external components."  What should I do?

Tech Support:  Don't worry.  It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on Your Heart.  In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer:  So, what should I do?

Tech Support:  Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following:  Forgive-Self; realize your Worth; and acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer:  Okay, done.

Tech Support:  Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory.  The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.  Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer:  Got it.  Hey!  My Heart is filling up with new files.  Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart.  Is that normal?

Tech Support:  Sometimes.  For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time.  So Love is installed and running.  One more thing before we hang up.  Love is Freeware.  Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet.  They will in turn share it! with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Author Unknown





Paul the Apostle


1.  The Apostle Paul was previously known by another name.  What was it?

Simon
Saul
Barnabas

Answer

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2 Where was Paul born?

Antioch
Cana of Galilee
Tarsus

Answer

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3.  What was Paul's occupation?

Fisherman
Tax Collector
Tentmaker

Answer

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4.  Immediately after his encounter with the Living God, what did Paul do?

Went on a missionary journey
Went on Retreat
Was led away blind

Answer

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5.  Paul's conversion experience took place on a journey from Jerusalem to:

Damascus
Jericho
Rome

Answer

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6.  How long was Paul blind?

3 Hours
3 Days
3 Weeks

Answer

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7.  How was Paul's sight restored?

Laying on of hands
Laser surgery
Another light from heaven

Answer

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8.  After his conversion, Paul preached Jesus Christ in Damascus until:

The Roman government asked him to leave
The Religious Jews asked him to leave
He escaped for his life one night

Answer





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