six seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning, Rick got up early and left for work.  When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a gift-wrapped box in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.  She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Rick has been missing since Friday.  Pray for him.

Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me.

Body of Christ, save me.

Blood of Christ, inebriate me.

Water from the side of Christ, wash me.

Passion of Christ, strengthen me.

O Good Jesus, hear me.

Within thy wounds hide me.

Suffer me not to be separated from thee.

From the malicious enemy defend me.

In the hour of my death call me

and bid me come to thee

That with thy saints I may praise thee

forever and ever.

Amen.

Author Unknown - 14th Century

Grandparents and Grandchildren

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before.  After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"

My young grandson called the other day to wish me a Happy Birthday.  He asked me how old I was, and I told him "62."  He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.  As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.  Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.  As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like:  "We used to skate outside on a pond.  I made a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.  We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods."  The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in.  At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "Im not sure."  "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised.  "Mine says I'm four to six."

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's computer.  She told him she was writing a story.  :What's it about?" he asked.  "I don't know," she replied.  "I can't read."

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out something and ask what color it was.  She would tell me and was always correct.  It was fun for me, so I continued.  At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.  Still, a few fireflies followed us in.  Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa, the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

A nursery school teacher was deivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.  Sitting in the front of the truck was a Dalmatian dog.  The children started discussing the dog's duties.  "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.  "No," said another, "he's just for good luck."  A third child brought the argument to a close.  "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

Shoes in Church

I showered and shaved
I adjusted my tie.
I got there and sat
In a pew just in time,
Bowing my head in prayer.
As I closed my eyes
I saw the shoe of the man next to me
Touching my own.  I sighed.
"With plenty of room on either side,"
I thought, "Why must our soles touch?"
It bothered me, his shoe touching mine
But it didn't bother him much.

A prayer began:  "Our Father"
I thought, "This man with the shoes has no pride.
They're dusty, worn and scratched.
Even worse, there are holds in the side!"
"Thank You for blessing," the prayer went on.
The shoe man said a quiet "Amen."
I tried to focus on the prayer
But my thoughts were on his shoes again.
"Aren't we supposed to look our best
When walking through that door?
Well, this certainly isn't it," I thought,
Glancing toward the floor.

Then the prayer was ended
And the songs of praise began.
The shoe man was certainly loud
Sounding proud as he sang.
His voice lifted the rafters
His hands were raised high.
The Lord could surely hear
The shoe man's voice from the sky.

It was time for the offering
And what I threw in was steep.
I watched as the shoe man reached
Into his pockets so deep.
I saw what was pulled out,
What the shoe man put in.
Then I heard a soft "clink"
As when silver hits tin.
The sermon really bored me
To tears, and that's no lie.
It was the same for the shoe man
For tears fell from his eyes.

At the end of the service,
As is the custom here,
We must greet new visitors
And show them all good cheer.
But I felt moved somehow
And wanted to meet the shoe man.
So after the closing prayer
I reached over and shook his hand.

He was old and his skin was dark
And his hair was truly a mess.
But I thanked him for coming,
For being our guest.
He said, "My name's Charlie.
I'm glad to meet you, my friend."
There were tears in his eyes
But he had a large, wide grin.
"Let me explain," he said,
Wiping tears from his eyes,
"I've been coming here for months
And you're the first to say 'Hi.'"

"I know my appearance
Is not like all the rest,
But I really do try
To always look my best.
I always clean and polish my shoes
Before my very long walk
But by the time I get here
They're dirty and dusty, like chalk."

My heart filled with pain
And I swallowed to hide my tears
As he continued to apologize
For daring to sit so near.
He said, "When I get here
I know I must look a sight.
But I thought if I could touch you
Then maybe our souls might unite."

I was silent for a moment,
Knowing whatever was said
Would pale in comparison.
I spoke from my heart, not my head.
"Oh, you've touched me," I said,
"And taught me in part
That the best of any man
Is what is found in his heart."
The rest, I thought,
This shoe man will never know.
Like just how thankful I really am
That his dirty old shoe touched my soul.

Author Unknown

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own

Thoughts
Understanding
Ways

Answer

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths

Easy
Secure
Straight

Answer

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of

Life
Righteousness
Instruction

Answer

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of

Life
Understanding
Wisdom

Answer

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will

Prosper
Succeed
Follow

Answer

The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are

Sheltered
Rewarded
Safe

Answer

When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD, he makes even his ____________ live at peace with him.

Family
Friends
Enemies

Answer

Better is a little with righteousness than much gain with

Injustice
Strife
Heartache

Answer

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the

Heart
Mind
Bones

Answer

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to

Death
Destruction
Disease

Answer

A rebuke impresses a man of discernment more than a hundred lashes a

Day
Pet
Fool

Answer

If a man pays back evil for good, evil will never leave his

House
Neighborhood
Environment

Answer

A cheerful heart is good

Advice
Experience
Medicine

Answer

He who is kind to the poor ________ to the LORD.

Prays
Lends
Lives

Answer

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from

Her Family
The LORD
The Church

Answer

A king's wrath is like the roar of a

Lion
Freight Train
Leopard

Answer

The glory of young men is their

Strength
Widsom
Skill

Answer

All a man's ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs the

Words
Results
Heart

Answer

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome

Sister
Wife
Brother

Answer

A good name is more desirable than great

Riches
Accomplishments
Knowledge

Answer

A prudent man sees danger and takes

Note of it
Precautions
Refuge

Answer

Do not be wise in your own

Eyes
Understanding
Report

Answer

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